Have you ever imagined driving a car that was basically worth more than your life? I know I have often. I picture myself in a 2007 TVR Sagaris, whipping around mountain passes at 140mph while feeling the wheels just sink into the road. I imagine pulling through downtown with 380hp and watching all the beautiful ladies swoon. (This, actually, is more a dream than reality.) I really just want to turn it out, balls to the wall, on a straight-away and go from 0-60 in less than four seconds on my way to reaching a top speed so blistering that my fucking face melts off. I often think of that. And then I think, "Let's crash it."
Orgasm inducing TVR...... vroom...
Not really, but it sure is fun to watch on TV, so apparently that's what happened this past week when Eddie Griffin, that oh-so-funny guy from "Date Movie" and "Deuce Bigelow" (please sense my sarcasm) jumped into a 1.5 million dollar Ferrari Enzo and proceeded to drive it into the wall of a race track. Wow.
No, this is not a scene from "Transformers."
Now I usually excuse celebrity automotive incidents, because they likely involve alcohol and usually (I stress usually) the celebrity in question owns the car. Fortunately for Eddie he couldn't ever afford a car like this so he had to "borrow" Executive Producer Daniel Sadek's wheels to get his crash on. Wow.
So this extremely rare Ferrari gets totalled, and Eddie walks away from the incident without a scratch on him. Apparently Mr. Sadek, after finding out the star of his new film "Redline" was ok, shut himself inside of a trailer, screamed at the heavens, and then contemplated suicide. Actually, he didn't, that's just what I would have done. Either that or grab a rifle and look for any member of Eddie Griffin's family. Or his dog. Actually, he said he took a moment alone and told himself "there's people dying every day. A lot of worse things are happening in the world." That's right, some other guy just had a moron comedian wreck his car on a closed track in Africa I'm sure. When asked about the incident Griffin just replied "Undercover Brother don't know how to drive!" Wow.
This is funnier than any movie I've done... ever.
In all seriousness I do think that it would take some big kahones to just bit your lip while some shit wrecks your custom car, but this story made me think of how rediculous our obsession with vehicles is. I drive a 2003 Tacoma; not the nicest car in the world but servicable. But even when we have new cars we're still looking for something hotter, bigger, more edgy and cool. I dream about owning a TVR, but that's only a dream. I'll never have one, and I'm starting to have the feeling that if I did I'd feel bad about it. Sadek is right, there ARE a million things going on in the world that are bad, but you're not going to see him sell his esteemed rare car collection to do anything about it. And I think if I had a car that expensive, I'd be scared as hell to drive it! I once rented a Lamborghini for a day with a friend, but I was barely able to get it over 80mph because I was so chickenshit. So I say no more dreaming for me.
I want my old Accord back. Or better yet, my 1986 Volvo station wagon. miss those cars more than I dream about new ones. They never broke down and they got me where I wanted to go. I never had a complaint. If a bird shit on my TVR I would go Yosemite Sam on it, and that's why I don't ever need a nice car. After all, I've got enough problems already, just like the rest of the world.
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